MOBILE- From the restaurant that proudly delivers an ice cream dessert in the name of a natural weather event, Dairy Queen officials met Friday with British Petroleum executives in Mobile, Alabama to announce their latest new product to be known as the DQ Oil Slick.
“We are tremendously excited to take an otherwise terrible environmental disaster and turn it into one of the best desserts you will ever have,” said Dairy Queen’s vice president of product marketing and development Herbert Horatio Foster. The dessert is a mix of chocolate ice cream, chocolate frosting, chocolate pudding, chocolate chips, and smothered with chocolate fudge syrup. DQ was very excited to announce that there will be “oil covered surprises” in the dessert in the form of gummy bears and gummy worms. “We do acknowledge the fact that there are not bears in the Gulf of Mexico but if we had gummy birds and fish we would include those.”
“There’s really nothing you can do about the oil in the ocean so we might as well have a dessert while we set up our lawn chairs on the beach,” said Mayble Carslile, a lifetime costal resident. “Look Marge I think we have another duck washing up,” she then hit her friend twice on the upper arm, “that’s four to zero!”
Next week Dairy Queen officials will be meeting with President Obama at White House with what is being called the “DQ Summit.” The president is expected to talk with DQ about more environmentally friendly fast food wrappers and green technology to increase the speed of serving food, cutting costs and will add over 1 million new jobs in the fast food industry within the next 3 months.
“Ummmm I’m not really sure how green technology will translate into all those jobs. We tend to hire high school kids and if they can count money and read correctly, we consider that a bonus,” said Mr. Foster.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The Price is Right Meets the Biggest Loser
Today I have work off for a holiday and I ended up watching The Price is Right. I was going to comment that I haven’t watched that show in ten years, but it’s probably closer to twenty years. This show is just silly. It’s like a big obnoxious high school pep rally. Not much has changed really, except the host, but it’s still the same prizes and a lot of the same games. I wonder if they still have Plinko. Typically they offer bedroom sets, outdoor solar shower systems, and new cars.
If I was preparing to be a contestant on TPIR, I would check out stores to price out the most common items in the game such as Pine-Sol, Rice-a-Roni, and WD-40. I remember as a kid that the ladies who knew the price of Pine-Sol were always the big winners.
But some of the guessing games are just silly, such as guessing the price of the Chevy Equinox. Is it $23,859 or $23,759? For 100 dollars you can be either humiliated or regarded as the price guessing genius. If I guessed incorrectly, I’d ask to speak with a manager. “Bob it’s okay I’m willing to go the extra hundred dollars, because I really want to get into this vehicle.” The show should add some other elements to make it more exciting such as a used car salesman to help you haggle with the price.
Another great idea is to combine TPIR with The Biggest Loser. I watched that show once until 45 minutes into it, I realized that there is no plot and nothing more will happen than contestants weighing themselves on a big scale. If they combined the two shows, a Biggest Loser contestant will stand on a scale and TPIR guests will guess their weight. “Drew, I think she’s 315 pounds,” and the crowd goes wild. “Now we’re playing higher or lower. Does Don weigh higher or lower than 268?”
And what’s the deal with these expensive vacations? “How much will you bid for a 5-night trip to fabulous Las Vegas?! $4,382 or $4,132?” For me it’s $40 in gas both ways, a fruit pie and corn dog at the gas station, a few dinners eating out, crashing on Ryan’s apartment floor and I’ve cut that expensive vacation down to…..”Drew, I will bid $158.” Whooooo wooooooo.
If I was preparing to be a contestant on TPIR, I would check out stores to price out the most common items in the game such as Pine-Sol, Rice-a-Roni, and WD-40. I remember as a kid that the ladies who knew the price of Pine-Sol were always the big winners.
But some of the guessing games are just silly, such as guessing the price of the Chevy Equinox. Is it $23,859 or $23,759? For 100 dollars you can be either humiliated or regarded as the price guessing genius. If I guessed incorrectly, I’d ask to speak with a manager. “Bob it’s okay I’m willing to go the extra hundred dollars, because I really want to get into this vehicle.” The show should add some other elements to make it more exciting such as a used car salesman to help you haggle with the price.
Another great idea is to combine TPIR with The Biggest Loser. I watched that show once until 45 minutes into it, I realized that there is no plot and nothing more will happen than contestants weighing themselves on a big scale. If they combined the two shows, a Biggest Loser contestant will stand on a scale and TPIR guests will guess their weight. “Drew, I think she’s 315 pounds,” and the crowd goes wild. “Now we’re playing higher or lower. Does Don weigh higher or lower than 268?”
And what’s the deal with these expensive vacations? “How much will you bid for a 5-night trip to fabulous Las Vegas?! $4,382 or $4,132?” For me it’s $40 in gas both ways, a fruit pie and corn dog at the gas station, a few dinners eating out, crashing on Ryan’s apartment floor and I’ve cut that expensive vacation down to…..”Drew, I will bid $158.” Whooooo wooooooo.
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