SALT LAKE CITY--Residents of the expanding metropolitan area of the Salt Lake Valley are feeling the effects of growth from increased commute time, more construction, busier stores and post offices and now a longer wait time for services such as optometry.
"I called a month ago to go see an eye doctor," said Bryan Bryner, attorney in Salt Lake. "I need new contacts bad," he said. Friends say that Bryan has needed new contacts for awhile.
"At first I thought he was just a really bad softball player," commented his roommate Chad Nelson, "I mean he would strike out.....in softball and we're pitching to our own team."
"We just wanted to put Bryan into right field," said his friend Rocky who wished to remain ananamous. "I mean, who hits it to right field?"
"I noticed that he may be having problems when he continues to run the dishwasher on clean dishes that I have just ran," said his brother Garth. "And when I showed him the shelves we built in the basement, he stood with his back to the shelves and facing the concrete basement wall telling me they look great."
Other witnesses in the area have reported Bryan stumbling down the front porch steps, tripping on the sidewalk and trying to open up other residents' Ford trucks in the morning to get to work.
"I have an appointment for October sometime, but I can't seem to find where I wrote down the doctor's phone number to confirm the appointment," he commented.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
RC Willey Says No to BYU Students
PROVO--Local furniture giant RC Willey has banned BYU students from shopping at their stores during football games. "We want to accommodate everyone, but everytime there's a BYU game on, our showrooms are filled with students and alumni watching football on our big screen and plasma TVs," commented John Willey, CEO.
Phil Wilapom, a horticulture major from San Baja Rio de Escalante, California, enjoys the atmosphere of the RC Willey showroom in Orem. "My roommates and I try to get there early because on many game days the store is also giving away hot dogs and Pepsi. So we'll hang out at the store and watch the game. It's kind of like being at Applebee's but there's no bar for the drinking UVSC students," said Phil.
"We can't keep this up," said Myrtle Beach, spokeswoman for the retailer. "Our promotional hot dogs and Pepsi are always gone quickly in the Utah County region because of the number of college students in the area." RC Willey and BYU Food Services are in negotiations on ways to ease the influx of students to free promotional weekends. "We don't want our students to be freeloading from local retailers that support our Cougs and contribute to the Alumni association by dialing 1-888-BYU-COUG. We appreciate all that RC Willey has done to make our school better," commented Chester McDowell of BYU Food Services as he wiped mustard from his face and continued to chug Pepsi. "I don't know what it is about the Pepsi that RC Willey serves, but it sure has more of a bite than what we get in East Provo," he said.
SFRCW President "Willie" Myers is disappointed with the retailer's decision to ban students during game day. "Dude, I'm just checking out the plasmas. I plan to buy one when I graduate, so I'm doing my research," explained the Social Economics major. "That's the first thing I'm going to buy," he said. He started the club, Students For RC Willey, as a response to the store's new policy.
"Mr. Myers is in for the shock of his life when he graduates," said John Willey, CEO. "He's going to graduate, realize he doesn't want to live with 21-year-olds whose Taco Bell wrappers stay in the living room of his six-person, one-bath apartment, have his car break down, look for jobs in the Daily Herald classified section and settle for a job at Applebee's and then we'll see how much of a priority that plasma is."
Mr. Willey's comments have been taken harshly by would-be furniture buyers in Utah County. "What do you mean? I love working at Kinkos for 16 hours per week and I'm a good kid, I haven't been arrested," said part-time student and 32-year-old Markus Hankum living at home in Santaquin, Utah who is majoring in microbiology after starting out in political science, changing to organization behavior, dabbling in pre-med, a few semesters abroad in Jerusalem, Guatemala, and Nauvoo. "If he doesn't want our type watching the games, then I'm never buying furniture from there, ever," said Hankum. With furter questioning, Hankum admitted that he has never ever even bought furniture in his life.
In response to the controversy, Provo's LeMar's bar has opened its doors to BYU students. "We offer free admission and all the Coke you want during the game," said LeMar LeVon Wilkensen. "RC Willey may snub its nose, but you're welcomed here. Hell you're even welcomed here during church..."
Phil Wilapom, a horticulture major from San Baja Rio de Escalante, California, enjoys the atmosphere of the RC Willey showroom in Orem. "My roommates and I try to get there early because on many game days the store is also giving away hot dogs and Pepsi. So we'll hang out at the store and watch the game. It's kind of like being at Applebee's but there's no bar for the drinking UVSC students," said Phil.
"We can't keep this up," said Myrtle Beach, spokeswoman for the retailer. "Our promotional hot dogs and Pepsi are always gone quickly in the Utah County region because of the number of college students in the area." RC Willey and BYU Food Services are in negotiations on ways to ease the influx of students to free promotional weekends. "We don't want our students to be freeloading from local retailers that support our Cougs and contribute to the Alumni association by dialing 1-888-BYU-COUG. We appreciate all that RC Willey has done to make our school better," commented Chester McDowell of BYU Food Services as he wiped mustard from his face and continued to chug Pepsi. "I don't know what it is about the Pepsi that RC Willey serves, but it sure has more of a bite than what we get in East Provo," he said.
SFRCW President "Willie" Myers is disappointed with the retailer's decision to ban students during game day. "Dude, I'm just checking out the plasmas. I plan to buy one when I graduate, so I'm doing my research," explained the Social Economics major. "That's the first thing I'm going to buy," he said. He started the club, Students For RC Willey, as a response to the store's new policy.
"Mr. Myers is in for the shock of his life when he graduates," said John Willey, CEO. "He's going to graduate, realize he doesn't want to live with 21-year-olds whose Taco Bell wrappers stay in the living room of his six-person, one-bath apartment, have his car break down, look for jobs in the Daily Herald classified section and settle for a job at Applebee's and then we'll see how much of a priority that plasma is."
Mr. Willey's comments have been taken harshly by would-be furniture buyers in Utah County. "What do you mean? I love working at Kinkos for 16 hours per week and I'm a good kid, I haven't been arrested," said part-time student and 32-year-old Markus Hankum living at home in Santaquin, Utah who is majoring in microbiology after starting out in political science, changing to organization behavior, dabbling in pre-med, a few semesters abroad in Jerusalem, Guatemala, and Nauvoo. "If he doesn't want our type watching the games, then I'm never buying furniture from there, ever," said Hankum. With furter questioning, Hankum admitted that he has never ever even bought furniture in his life.
In response to the controversy, Provo's LeMar's bar has opened its doors to BYU students. "We offer free admission and all the Coke you want during the game," said LeMar LeVon Wilkensen. "RC Willey may snub its nose, but you're welcomed here. Hell you're even welcomed here during church..."
Monday, September 11, 2006
Garth Leaves Las Vegas and Becomes "Bryan's Brother"
SALT LAKE CITY-Garth Bryner has now officially cut all ties to Las Vegas by changing his cell phone number to a Utah number. "I received the check from the sale of my home and that's all I needed. I am now officially a Utahn," he stated. "Well except for the fact that I don't want to register my truck in Utah just yet, it's somewhat expensive."
So since coming back to Utah, Garth is known as "Bryan's Brother." Apparently many people knew about Bryan's brother moving back to Utah from Las Vegas. However, most people ask who is older and the ward leadership has mistakenly asked Bryan to start attending a family ward and "quit harassing the younger girls, you know the 28 and 29 year-olds don't need to be flirted with..."
"It's just like CEU again," commented Garth. "First I was Christian's brother, then Bryan's brother, and then Matt's brother. I may as well just not have a name," he pouted one night.
In addition to being known as Bryan's brother, Garth was singled out at the recent West Jordan Demolition Derby by a friend of Matt from Carbon High School. "This guy five rows up from me hollers my name and asks me about Matt," explains Garth. "Matt should be proud to know that his good friends from high school are still attending demolition derbies."
"It's great to have Garth back," commented his father, Bryce as he anxiously awaited Garth to wake up early one morning to do yardwork. "He told me that he always woke up early for work around 5am, but I'm just not seeing it," he commented.
So since coming back to Utah, Garth is known as "Bryan's Brother." Apparently many people knew about Bryan's brother moving back to Utah from Las Vegas. However, most people ask who is older and the ward leadership has mistakenly asked Bryan to start attending a family ward and "quit harassing the younger girls, you know the 28 and 29 year-olds don't need to be flirted with..."
"It's just like CEU again," commented Garth. "First I was Christian's brother, then Bryan's brother, and then Matt's brother. I may as well just not have a name," he pouted one night.
In addition to being known as Bryan's brother, Garth was singled out at the recent West Jordan Demolition Derby by a friend of Matt from Carbon High School. "This guy five rows up from me hollers my name and asks me about Matt," explains Garth. "Matt should be proud to know that his good friends from high school are still attending demolition derbies."
"It's great to have Garth back," commented his father, Bryce as he anxiously awaited Garth to wake up early one morning to do yardwork. "He told me that he always woke up early for work around 5am, but I'm just not seeing it," he commented.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Bryan Enjoys Benefits of Telecommuting
Salt Lake City –Telecommuting has taken on a new way of working, not just for expectant mothers and family women working part-time jobs, but for many recent college graduates trying to get ahead in the corporate rat-race.
“I was out late the night before,” said Bryan Bryner, who works as legal council for an Internet company. “We played Frisbee for a couple hours and then there were some activities going on up the canyon. When I dragged out of bed then next morning, I called my boss to tell him I would be telecommuting to work today.”
Stacie Organizer of the Massachusetts Institute of Telecommuting (MIT) explains the benefits of telecommuting rather than driving into work. “We find that many Americans in the workforce are far more productive working on their laptops while in their pajamas in bed, and watching TV. With multitasking, they are able to contribute to the work environment without sacrificing the benefits of staying at home.”
When asked if Garth plans to telecommute when he establishes his contracting business, “sure,” he stated.
“I’m really don’t know what Garth is doing, but hey, he brought his big screen TV and the ping pong table so it’s all good,” commented his brother.
“I was out late the night before,” said Bryan Bryner, who works as legal council for an Internet company. “We played Frisbee for a couple hours and then there were some activities going on up the canyon. When I dragged out of bed then next morning, I called my boss to tell him I would be telecommuting to work today.”
Stacie Organizer of the Massachusetts Institute of Telecommuting (MIT) explains the benefits of telecommuting rather than driving into work. “We find that many Americans in the workforce are far more productive working on their laptops while in their pajamas in bed, and watching TV. With multitasking, they are able to contribute to the work environment without sacrificing the benefits of staying at home.”
When asked if Garth plans to telecommute when he establishes his contracting business, “sure,” he stated.
“I’m really don’t know what Garth is doing, but hey, he brought his big screen TV and the ping pong table so it’s all good,” commented his brother.
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