Larry the Cable Guy Seeks Presidential Pardon

ATLANTA—Lawyers for Larry the Cable Guy have petitioned President Bush to issue a presidential pardon for Larry’s involvement in steroid abuse. Over the years of the Bush administration, many comedians illegally used HGH also know as Humor Growth Hormone, which helped comedians develop incredibly funny comedy routines.

Larry has denied the use of Humor Growth Hormone although fellow comedians Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Engval have testified in congressional hearings that Larry knew the hormone was placed in his food. “We have overwhelming testimony that Larry the Cable Guy willingly took HGH,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada.

Larry testified to the congressional hearing that he was aware that his wife was taking HGH some five years ago. “She was a riot, and if that’s from the HGH, then that’s funny stuff. I don’t care who you are.”